Benjamin Franklin is credited with originating the phrase: “The only two sure things are death and taxes.” This does a disservice to death because some people can avoid paying taxes but none of us can avoid death.
Death is not usually something we think about when we’re young but as we age and experience the deterioration of our bodies and watch family members and friends make their exits (knowing our turn is coming) we do begin to wonder: “What’s that going to be like?”
It’s comforting to learn about near death experiences (NDE’s) that suggest something wonderful will happen after we die, but we can’t know for sure. And then there’s that whole karma thing and the idea of Judgment Day. What if we are held accountable for all that we’ve done in our lives?
It’s speculation. What’s real is this life and this moment and the opportunity to live fully until our hearts stop. But, as Mary Oliver says in her poem, The Summer Day: “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”
Do You Have A Plan for your Death?
What’s your plan? Most of us don’t have one. We just live day to day. We may budget to pay off a mortgage, save for our children’s education, and plan for retirement, but what about preparing for death? This involves more than managing our assets.
The Lakota Sioux leader Crazy Horse supposedly uttered the phrase: “It’s a good day to die” as he headed into battle. But that sentiment has been expanded to describe readiness, living without regret, being content that, if this turned out to be our last day, we’d be OK with checking out.
A Lifetime of Regret?
I was with my mother in Hospice for the last three days of her life. She voiced a lifetime of regret, realizing that she hadn’t fully lived the way she wanted to. I’d give anything to time travel back to those moments and invite her to seize the brief time she had left to fulfill that urge as best she could, to die without regret. I’d tell her, “It’s never too late!”
The same is true for me and you right now. We can make a decision to live fully from this moment on. What would that look like, how would we do it? One simple strategy I’ve developed is to ask this question: “If I wasn’t doing this already, would I choose to?”
Pick something. Your job, your spouse, where you live… and ask. “If I wasn’t married to X would I propose to him/her today? If I wasn’t working in this job, would I choose to, today?” Just pick one aspect of your life and ask. I’ll give you a moment....
OK. What happened? If you said “Yes!” how wonderful. Here’s an aspect of your life that’s working well. If you said “No,” there’s something to look at. If you said “Hell no!” there’s something to change.
The Devil We Know?
There’s another relevant saying: “The devil we know is better than the devil we don’t know.” This warns us that change can make things worse, especially when we’re unsure of what might happen if we did choose a change. But this kind of fear-based thinking is also what keeps us imprisoned in bad relationships, jobs we hate, and takes us to a deathbed laden with regret.
Nope! Not for me. While I happen to believe in reincarnation and look forward to the next life - whatever that might turn out to be - I’ve decided that I better live this one as if it’s the only one, my only “one wild and precious life.” Just in case!
Imagine this is it. This is all we get. This life. This moment. This very moment while I’m writing and you’re reading. How focused are we able to be? Can we sustain our focus, being wholly present, right here, right now?
And there it is, ahead in the distance… our death. Wow. It’s real. But now, from this stance of full presence, it seems different. Of course! The more I can embrace this moment, the more prepared I feel for that moment.
The Burdens We Carry...
I’m suddenly remembering a stressful episode during a Tony Robbins seminar in Hawaii many years ago when I’d climbed to the top of a 40-foot pole. Swaying with the wind, surveying the endless ocean below, I rallied my courage and leapt for a nearby lifeline. This was our objective, to catch it and lower ourselves down. But I missed it, my safety harness took hold, and I gently sank to the ground.
I hadn’t counted on how my weight dropped me the moment I jumped. If I’d had another opportunity I would have leapt higher, so that I could fall into that rope from above.
Maybe death is like that. We’ll take a leap into the unknown, to catch the thread of our next life. If so, it will matter how much weight we’re carrying when we jump. How burdened will we be in that moment with the incomplete stuff of our lives?
Now...
Back to this moment: What am I living with that I haven’t faced and dealt with? What do I want to do that I haven’t done? What dreams persist, unlived?
And when would now be a good time to attend to all this?
The spiritual seeking many of us have done often focuses on achieving peace of mind, a state of acceptance and unconditional love, received and given. But perhaps our ultimate accomplishment will be to prepare ourselves for death so we can leave this world for the next one, free and clear and happy and grateful, 100% ready for our sequel.
As my aged friend Conrad Ffrench told me when I interviewed him for a TV series I hosted and asked how he felt about dying (Conrad knew the author Ian Fleming, who used him as the model for his James Bond novels): “I’ve always enjoyed traveling.”
Bon voyage!
Copyright 2024 by Will T. Wilkinson.
Book by this Author: The Success Paradox
The Success Paradox: How to Surrender & Win in Business and in Life
by Gary C. Cooper with Will T. Wilkinson.
The Success Paradox is the improbable story of a life and business transformed, told in a warmly authentic style that says: “I hit rock bottom, I surrendered, I began doing the opposite of what I’d been doing before, miracles happened, and here’s what you can learn from my journey.”
With riveting personal details that illuminate his discoveries, Gary details how he defied the odds – not just to survive but to thrive - by implementing a series of paradoxical strategies, fundamentally opposite to anything he’d ever done before. The result is an inspiring book about what happened to him and a blueprint for readers to experience how to surrender and win in business and life.
Click here for more info and/or to order this hardback book. Also available as a Kindle edition and as an Audiobook.
More books by Will T. Wilkinson
About the Author
Will T Wilkinson lives in Maui and Oregon with his life partner Tashina. Will is the author of several dozen books, including the number one best seller The Success Paradox. He is the Program Director for the OpenMind Fitness Foundation and writes a weekly Substack blog, free to subsribe at https://willtwilkinson.substack.com/
