Psychospiritual exploration, soul-searching, communing with the self — these are normal and important components of the human experience. Adolescence is a prime time for this sort of exploration, and for questioning, testing limits, and defying both death and authority. The chances that your kids aren’t going to have to...
The more we bristle at the idea of self-responsibility, the more likely it is that we were taught at an early age to feel shame. Blame and shame go hand in hand, one giving rise to the other. They both have to do with finding fault, pointing a finger of judgment, and defining something or someone as “wrong.”
In a court of law, if both partners of a married couple claim they have irreconcilable differences, the court will grant them a legal divorce... Joyce and I, having worked with thousands of couples over the last 37 years, challenge that there is no such thing as irreconcilable differences. We have seen that...
Don't give in to what everyone else says they want in a relationship. You are unique in your wants and desires. Taking the time to find out what you really want in a relationship will more quickly draw your ideal mate to you, and in the best way...
Many of us have a well-practiced habit of talking about the faults of others. In fact, sometimes doing this is so habitual that we don't realize we've done it until afterward. Yet, when we examine its effect in our lives, we quickly realize that this habit...
- By Alan Cohen
by Alan Cohen. I was surprised to receive a Facebook friend invitation from Eric Butterworth, a respected author and minister who introduced me to the new thought movement many years ago. The astounding element of Dr. Butterworth’s invitation is that he is dead. He passed away eight years ago. How he found his way onto Facebook is...
I've never been a big fan of country music. I have found it depressing, sad, whining, self-pitying... Well, you get the picture. However, now that I live in northern Florida, when I'm in my car and I'm "surfing" radio stations, country music is mostly what I find. Now, I must admit, I've discovered that not...
The following text, "Yesterday's Child" by Janie Bowman, was originally published in The Missing Piece (Winter 1993), the newsletter of the Learning Disabilities Association of Washington State. "After only three months of formal education, Yesterday's child walked out of his school in a fit of rage. ...Today's child would be in long-term therapy for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder..."
by Celeste B. Longacre. Fairy tales are wonderful stories for young children. They give us a sense of place and a great deal of hopefulness for the future. Of course, someday my Prince (or Princess) will come and we will live happily ever after... What does happily ever after mean? Contrary to popular belief and, perhaps, our...
A while back, in the spirit of wanting things to be "better", I rearranged the furniture in the office. The changes were a little unconventional, yet the layout was more efficient and would lead to a better functioning of the office. People often have a resistance to change, especially when the change is thrust upon them without giving them a chance to make a choice. So, the reactions of my co-workers...
The question to ask ourselves is "Who are we becoming?" Are we living up to the child we were, or could have been? Loving, playful, wanting nothing more than to love and be loved. (I'm talking about very early childhood. Before we were tainted and "corrupted" by mind games, by competitiveness, jealousy, revenge, etc. etc.)
- By Alan Cohen
by Alan Cohen. Most of us have at some time thought or said, "I will never love again." In the wake of emotional pain, it is natural to want to protect yourself. And in many situations it's a good idea to retreat into a cocoon for a period of time while you regroup. The problem is that when you keep your heart sheltered...
How do you know when to trust someone? When people you know do something out of character or unusual, do you ridicule them or explore with them their new interest or behavior? If you're curious rather than critical, that is trust. When you're bothered by something, do you keep it to yourself and worry about it or do you...
Relationships don't just fall apart overnight. There are warning signs to look for, signs that your levels of emotional tension are rising and that the relationship is in trouble. I call these warning signs the Four R's. The Four R's encompass the four stages of tension in a relationship...
Self-mutilation is a big problem facing teens today. This affliction is the result of fear instilled by trauma. It is as though the brain contains a computer chip, which has been programmed, because of trauma, to self-mutilate. It is a mental trap that has taken innumerable young people hostage...
One hears a lot about 'Unconditional Love'. The dictionary defines unconditional as 'absolute, with no conditions or reservations'. Not 'I love you, but...'. Simply "I love you, with no strings attached". Do you love yourself and others unconditionally? Do you love and approve of yourself and others even when a 'foul-up' occurs...
The issue of soul partnership seems to be in the heart. As you understand more about the energy of soul partnership in you, there will be less and less of aloneness and separateness.
Traditional societies transmitted to the young not only lineage and survival information but also the beliefs and expectations of the culture. This system perpetuated the health, longevity, and survival of the community and its values. To do this, it was critical to have...
We have uncovered twelve personality traits that vitally affect all romantic relationships, that either make or break intimacy. This number has been determined both clinically and scientifically. We have affectionately dubbed these traits as the "Big 12"...
Do you consider yourself an emotional person? For centuries astute observers of the human condition have noted that people vary remarkably in this dimension. Emotional Intensity clearly plays a major role in love relationships, yet has oddly been all but ignored professionally...
When it comes to socializing, is your philosophy "The more, the merrier?" If so, you definitely show qualities associated with the trait known as extroversion...
Few of us grasp the wholeness that is love-making. In true love-making, two people come together, open in body, mind, heart, and soul. They are intimate in love, and they join together and become one. They move together with pleasure toward an ecstatic moment...
For the baby, the world is a terrifying place. It is the vastness, the enormity of the whole experience of being born which so terrifies this little traveler. Blindly, madly, we assume that the newborn baby feels nothing. In fact, he feels . . . everything. Everything, totally, completely, utterly, and with a sensitivity we can't even begin to imagine.