But Seriously, Folks -- what if we practiced what they preached and made the golden rule the golden ruler?

Every year I do my State of the Universe Address, and every year it?s pretty much the same thing. The Universe is doing fine, thank you, purring in perfection, humming along swimmingly, ever-changing as always. The state of the Universe ... is sublime.

The state of our world ... is sub-lemon. Indeed, we must wonder sometimes if there is some kind of Universal Lemon Law that will allow us to trade in this old beater of a karma for a shiny new one. Indeed, for centuries, good and well-meaning people have attempted to attune into Divine through various spiritual practices. And yet, despite all of our heavenly aspirations, we humans seem hell-bent on ... hell.

A Holy War in the Holy Land -- Holy Cow!

Take the Middle East -- please! Three supposedly grown-up religions -- they?ve been around for millennia, for God?s sake -- fighting over whose plan for peace will dominate. If you were to survey the Holy War in the Holy Land and exclaim, "Holy cow!" ... you would be absolutely right. Because there are those who believe that breeding an actual "holy cow" is what will save the world.

According to Jewish tradition, in order for the Messiah to come, the Third Temple must be built. And what's holding back building the Third Temple -- aside from those pesky Muslims having claimed the area for their temple -- is that in order to set foot on the site, Jews must first be ritually purified, and in order for this purification to take place, not just any calf -- but a red calf -- must be sacrificed. Now a pure red heifer is apparently as rare as a purple cow, and no fair using artificial coloring. After all, how can you kill a calf that's already dyed?

Throughout history the Jews have tended to be fatalistic about the Messiah thing. Not so some fundamentalist Christians. They say, "Hey, if we can breed a red calf, we can make the Messiah come!" Never mind that it sounds like the young child vigorously wagging his dog's tail saying, "I want my dog to be happy." These folks are serious, and it has led to a "holy alliance" between a Catholic rancher in Nebraska, a Pentecostal minister from Mississippi, and an Orthodox rabbi in Israel to breed a literal sacred cow. No kidding. They've all become friends, and it is certainly heartening to see a Protestant, a Catholic and a Jew working together to bring about the end of the world.

From Talkie-Talkie to Walkie-Talkie

My guru Harry Cohen Baba was once asked if prayer healed everything, and he told the following Zen Cohen: For thirty years, a devout Jewish man would go to the Wailing Wall every day and pray for peace. Without fail, rain or shine, no matter what the circumstances, this dedicated man offered his prayer. A reporter from the Jerusalem Post found out about it, and interviewed the man. "I am truly impressed," she told him. "Tell me, what is it like going to the Wailing Wall every day for thirty years and praying for peace?"

"It's like talking to a &#$%&# wall!" he replied.

Yes, at some point there must be a transition from the metaphysical to the physical, so that the talkie-talkie becomes a walkie-talkie. At a time when loving kindness is so in demand, I recommend practicing supply-side spirituality in our daily doings. Now those folks working ardently to grow the red heifer -- I have no beef with them. But what if all that work and love and effort went into improving reality instead of ending it?

Help me with this one, please. If these people already know exactly how everything is going to turn out, why are they even bothering to live through it? I am reminded of an interchange between two enlightened teachers, the sportscaster Howard Cosell, and the baseball great Willie Mays. "We're talking with Willie Mays," said Howard. "Willie, lemme ask you this. Are you going to lead the league in homers again this year?"

And Willie Mays, with Yogi-like wisdom, replied, "I dunno, Howard. That's what we're gonna play the season to find out."

And what those of us who believe in Nonjudgment Day and Disarmageddon are playing the season to find out is, can we create the field of dreams where the Messiah cannot help but show up? And wouldn't it be funny if, in the process of building the Messiah's natural habitat, we found out that we ARE the Messiah? Personally, I think the old time religions kind of missed the boat on this one. We are not here to earn God's love, we are here to spend it!

And what better way to spend it than mining gold and sharing it with all. While most of us weren't paying attention, alchemists quietly boiled every religion down to its essence, and what do you know? All of the essences are essentially the same. It all boils down to a variation of the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. And if you don't believe me, here is the same Golden essence expressed in eight different ways:

The Golden Rule Rules!

Buddhism.
Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful.
--  Udana-Varga 5,1

Christianity.
All things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye so to them; for this is the law and the prophets.
--  Matthew 7:1

Confucianism.
Do not do to others what you would not like yourself. Then there will be no resentment against you, either in the family or in the state.
--  Analects 12:2

Hinduism.
This is the sum of duty; do naught onto others what you would not have them do unto you.
--  Mahabharata 5,1517

Islam.
No one of you is a believer until he desires for his brother that which he desires for himself.
--  Sunnah

Judaism.
What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellowman. This is the entire Law; all the rest is commentary.
--  Talmud, Shabbat 3id

Taoism.
Regard your neighbor's gain as your gain, and your neighbor's loss as your own loss.
--  Tai Shang Kan Yin P?ien

Zoroastrianism.
That nature alone is good which refrains from doing another whatsoever is not good for itself.
--  Dadisten-I-dinik, 94,5

(Adapted from "The Christopher Newsletter")

Do you think they're trying to tell us something? What if enlightened religious leaders of the world said, "Let's cut the B.S., and make the Golden Rule our golden ruler."

I say if we threw everything else away, and did just this, we'd do more than improve reality. We'd reap a world win!

This article was excerpted with permission from the book:

Swami for Precedent: A 7-Step Plan to Heal the Body Politic and Cure Electile Dysfunction., ©2004,
by Steve Bhaerman.

Info/Order this book at http://www.wakeuplaughing.com or by calling the Swami hotline at (800) SWAMI-BE.